faith to sight, and prayer to praise.

Jesus, I my cross have taken,

All to leave and follow Thee.

Destitute, despised, forsaken,

Thou from hence my all shall be.

Perish ever fond ambition,

All I've sought or hoped or known.

Yet, how rich is my condition!

God and heaven are still my own.

Let the world despise and leave me,

They have left my Savior, too.

Human hearts and looks deceive me;

Thou art not like men untrue.

Oh, while Thou dost smile upon me,

God of wisdom, love, and might,

Foes may hate and friends disown me,

Show Thy face and all is bright.

Man may trouble and distress me,

'Twill but drive me to Thy breast.

Life with trials hard may press me;

Heaven will bring me sweeter rest.

Oh, 'tis not in grief to harm me

While Thy love is left to me;

Oh 'twere not in joy to charm me,

Were that joy unmixed with Thee.

Go, then, earthly fame and treasure,

Come disaster, scorn and pain

In Thy service, pain is pleasure

Why Thy favor, loss is gain.

I have called Thee Abba Father,

I have stayed my heart on Thee

Storms may howl, and clouds may gather;

All must work for good to me.

Soul, then know thy full salvation

Rise o'er sin and fear and care

Joy to find in ever station,

Something still to do or bear.

Think what Spirit dwells within thee,

Think what Father's smiles are thine,

Think that Jesus died to win thee,

Child of heaven, canst thou repine.

Haste thee on from grace to glory,

Armed by faith, and winged by prayer.

Heaven's eternal days before thee,

God's own hand shall guide us there.

Soon shall close thy earthly mission,

Soon shall pass thy pilgrim days,

Hope shall change to glad fruition;

Faith to sight, and prayer to praise.

Amen.

gals and pals.

Let's talk about Thanksgiving, even though it's already past.

I think this past Thanksgiving I was most thankful for friends. You know, those real friends that you have that are encouraging and that you maybe even look up to a little bit, but you probably wouldn't tell them that. Right? I mean, I sure wouldn't. I realized I've got a lot more of those than I thought. Mostly kinda new friends, which I'm very thankful for. But even some old ones that I only catch up with every once in a while, but are still pretty darn incredible. If you're reading this, chances are, I'm talking 'bout you. So thanks, pal, for being my friend.


I got to catch up with a lot of friends these last few days of break. I got to learn about their lives nowadays. Their past. Their families. Their hearts. 
It. 
Was. 
Awesome. 
I just like getting to know people - it's my favorite.


Here's some funny pictures of me and folks I got to catch up with this past week. I'm thankful for them.
Ladies and Gents, I'd like to introduce my friends:

David Lewis: glasses wearer, boy-scout enthusiast.

Hannale Hylander: beauty, nomad.

Ann Claridge Chestnut: nail polisher, hello dolly.

Susan Atkinson: sage, fire cracker.

Steven Calhoun: bass magician, Harry Potter fan.

Rachel Wade: extremely elegant, devastatingly sophisticated. Next-door neighbors for life.

I know I left out some people, and I'm really sad about it, but it's because I didn't have a picture of us together. We could fix that? I think it's a good idea.

Don't forget, everyone:
"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18.

and when the bridegroom comes..

You know guys... life can be just downright difficult sometimes. I don't know how to deal with a lot of situations, but I definitely don't know how to deal with this one. There seems to be no right option for anyone. Maybe you've been in a pickle like this before.

Comfort, comfort my people, says your God.
Speak tenderly to Jerusalem,
and cry to her
that her warfare is ended,
that her iniquity is pardoned,
that she has received from the Lord's hand
double for all her sins.

 A voice cries:
“In the wilderness prepare the way of the Lord;
make straight in the desert a highway for our God.
Every valley shall be lifted up,
and every mountain and hill be made low;
the uneven ground shall become level,
and the rough places a plain. And the glory of the Lord shall be revealed,
and all flesh shall see it together,
for the mouth of the Lord has spoken.”

 A voice says, “Cry!”
And I said, “What shall I cry?”
All flesh is grass,
and all its beauty is like the flower of the field. The grass withers, the flower fades
when the breath of the Lord blows on it;
surely the people are grass.
The grass withers, the flower fades,
but the word of our God will stand forever.

 Get you up to a high mountain,
O Zion, herald of good news;
lift up your voice with strength,
O Jerusalem, herald of good news;
lift it up, fear not;
say to the cities of Judah,
“Behold your God!” Behold, the Lord God comes with might,
and his arm rules for him;
behold, his reward is with him,
and his recompense before him. He will tend his flock like a shepherd;
he will gather the lambs in his arms;
he will carry them in his bosom,
and gently lead those that are with young.

 Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand
and marked off the heavens with a span,
enclosed the dust of the earth in a measure
and weighed the mountains in scales
and the hills in a balance? Who has measured the Spirit of the Lord,
or what man shows him his counsel? Whom did he consult,
and who made him understand?
Who taught him the path of justice,
and taught him knowledge,
and showed him the way of understanding?
Behold, the nations are like a drop from a bucket,
and are accounted as the dust on the scales;
behold, he takes up the coastlands like fine dust. Lebanon would not suffice for fuel,
nor are its beasts enough for a burnt offering. All the nations are as nothing before him,
they are accounted by him as less than nothing and emptiness.

 To whom then will you liken God,
or what likeness compare with him? An idol! A craftsman casts it,
and a goldsmith overlays it with gold
and casts for it silver chains. He who is too impoverished for an offering
chooses wood that will not rot;
he seeks out a skillful craftsman
to set up an idol that will not move.

 Do you not know? Do you not hear?
Has it not been told you from the beginning?
Have you not understood from the foundations of the earth?
It is he who sits above the circle of the earth,
and its inhabitants are like grasshoppers;
who stretches out the heavens like a curtain,
and spreads them like a tent to dwell in;

 who brings princes to nothing,
and makes the rulers of the earth as emptiness.

 Scarcely are they planted, scarcely sown,
scarcely has their stem taken root in the earth,
when he blows on them, and they wither,
and the tempest carries them off like stubble.

To whom then will you compare me,
that I should be like him? says the Holy One. Lift up your eyes on high and see:
who created these?
He who brings out their host by number,
calling them all by name,
by the greatness of his might,
and because he is strong in power
not one is missing.

 Why do you say, O Jacob,
and speak, O Israel,
“My way is hidden from the Lord,
and my right is disregarded by my God”? Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint,
and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary,
and young men shall fall exhausted;
but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint.

-isaiah 40.

thanksgiving moon

Sunday Sunday Sunday.

(my favorite day of the week, which you would already know because obviously you read all my blogs cover to cover, right? yeah, that's what I thought too). (ok. nevermind).

anyways.

I'm really trying to blog more. I mean, I have this thing, so I should write something. I could write a lot. But I realized, people actually do read this... so it can't really be too personal or you guys would know all my secrets. And that'd be no good for me at all.

weekend update!

I went to Belmont with my daddy. He's great. And he loves me very much. We had a grand ole time. 

I met folks.

We talked.

I heard some good music from my future classmates. I heard some bluegrass.

here comes the tangent:

I wish I could write really good songs with really cool cryptic lyrics. 

But I can't. 

I can't even think about what to write right now for this silly blog because Harry Potter (7th movie comes out this week!) is on abc family and I'm entranced. So, I'll leave you guys with real writing, not my lame excuse for writing, and a picture of the guy who wrote it because I think he's neat.

"raise your arms for victory

drink to love

drink to me

we'll start over

we'll start new this time

with all stars, all stars and shadows

and we're all stars

yes, yes I know, yes I know

around a thanksgiving moon.

a misty light, imprecise and still

from a jagged bright sickle moon

the big man stared him down

in the middle afternoon

hid the blood and the metal

with his hands..

with his hands, with his hands

oh is that a star?

oh shallow victory.."

(cool and cryptic, right? I think so, too. ^this is DM Stith^, he opened for Sufjan when I saw him last week. do yourself a favor and please, oh please, listen here. you won't be sorry, promise)

i want to be well

Last night, my dad and I drove six hours to Nashville. I like spending time with my dad. I still don't know what I'm trying to write. But there's something. And that something needs to be written. Something happened during that ride where my dad was talking and what he said made me cry. 
My dad has this unusual habit of telling me constantly how great I am. How precious I am to him. How blessed he is to have me. How people say nothing but compliments about me. How he is one hundred percent positive that something big is coming in my future, that I'll do something monumental, but he doesn't know what it is.
etc etc etc. 
The list goes on and on.
I don't mean to tell you that because I'm proud of it.
Instead, I'm here to refute it. 


I don't understand how people think that about me. I've been told things like this before... I don't know why. BUT.
it.
terrifies.
me.


with everything in me, I'm so scared.


My sin is overwhelming. I choke on it. I can't get over it. Everything I do, I arrange it to be best for myself. I am selfish. So selfish. I can't stand it. I'm sick with it. 
My dad doesn't see it, and I do. It's all I see. It covers all my thoughts.
And that worries me. 
Now he and others are expecting me to do something huge with my life, and I'm afraid I won't live up to it. My tragic flaw will get in the way, I know. I bet I'll have the potential to do something big, and then screw everything up because I decided to be comfortable and self-serving. And disappointment will come. And guilt will encroach. And regret. More regret.


Jesus, please oh please... deliver me from myself.


I know I'm not thinking rationally right now. I'm missing half of the equation. But this sin... I just can't see past it.