7.31.2011

a kingdom direction

Alright, seriously, I'm going to stop talking about this. I promise. This'll be the last time.

.. I hope.

So! If you've been keeping up you know how anxious and sad yet still a little hopeful and excited I have been about this whole moving to Nashville business. Now, I'm going to tell you about what God's just shown me today.

Time out. Happy Sabbath, everyone! I hope your day was delightful.

Okay, back in action. Today, I had the pleasure of visiting new churches. This morning I went with my family and Zack & Kristen (who are amazing and I'm so sad that they're gone) to West End Community Church and heard a great sermon with some rock concert music. But tonight! I went to City Church and it. was. amazing. I went all by myself so I was a little nervous but the second I got there they were so welcoming and nice! A girl took me under her wing immediately and invited me to sit with her! How classy! I was even asked to dinner with some folks. People are kind here and I like it.

The best part of the day was the sermon from the assistant pastor Tom Darnell. Wowzers. There are no words to describe how enthralled I was. You know when you're really nervous and down about something and then you hear a sermon that you directly identify with? That's what happened tonight. I love how God soothes my doubts and calms my fears so entirely and clearly. Here's what he preached about:


[6] And they went through the region of Phrygia and Galatia, having been forbidden by the Holy Spirit to speak the word in Asia. [7] And when they had come up to Mysia, they attempted to go into Bithynia, but the Spirit of Jesus did not allow them. [8] So, passing by Mysia, they went down to Troas. [9] And a vision appeared to Paul in the night: a man of Macedonia was standing there, urging him and saying, “Come over to Macedonia and help us.” [10] And when Paul had seen the vision, immediately we sought to go on into Macedonia, concluding that God had called us to preach the gospel to them.
(Acts 16:6-10 ESV)



Okay, but really? I read that and thought, "Hmm... what in the world is He going to say through this? This seems a little bit like gobbledy-gook to me. I don't see this going anywhere specific." Boy, was I wrong.


So, Paul and Timothy set off, thinking they're doing God's will in the direction they're headed. But then God's like, "Woah, hold up now guys, the direction of your travels was right for a little bit, now I want you to go this way." So off they go towards a different town and once again they're stopped and God turns them to another completely different direction towards Macedonia! (Fun fact, Macedonia is now present day Europe so God was sending them to be the first to proclaim the Gospel in Europe. Cool, huh?) Why'd God do that? No idea. But He's sovereign. The cool part about this passage that I identified with a little is the attitude of Paul and Timothy. I know it doesn't say right there, but I can imagine what they were thinking. They may have been a little confused and frustrated, but they were tenderhearted towards God's will and followed Him. They trusted in His sovereignty. Do you see how this applies to me? God has uniquely directed my path for the advancement of His kingdom. He is divinely leading me.


More and more I'm learning that to be in the body of Christ is to proclaim His gospel in every situation in every place. I'm suddenly reminded of one of my favorite passages of scripture that I shall share with you.


[9] But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. [10] Once you were not a people, but now you are God's people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.
(1 Peter 2:9-10 ESV)

I'll close with a bit from a song we sang at the end of the service:
"God's compassion is my story
It is my boasting all the day
Mercy free and never failing
Moves my will, directs my way."





boom. roasted.


Have a great rest of the day, friends!

7.28.2011

to be surprised.

I've never blogged via my iPad before. I figured now would be a good time to try it out.

Lately, it's pretty unbelievable the amount that I miss people. I mean, I knew I was going go have some trouble after camp. But I never ever expected it to be this bad. I planned and planned for this. I put some pretty exciting things right after camp so I could ease into this new life of mine. For instance, right this second I'm in LA with the two most loving and incredible people in the entire world, my dear dear cousins Rick and Beth. They make me so happy all the time. However, I am amazed at how I can be so happy, and yet, so sad. I've never ever experienced this, and I don't like it one bit.


Beth and I at the Getty Villa.


Now I know what you're going to say. I've heard an incredible amount of advice on my leaving and starting over about what to do and how to handle it. Seriously, I've heard it lots. But I just can't help being sad.

You might can only barely tell, but there's me with my arms full of newly bought records.


My sinful nature pulls me into wanting control over every aspect of my life. And I really know I shouldn't have that control, and even if I did, it would be terrible. But I still crave it. I wish I could orchestrate my own life.... I hate admitting these things because I feel so terrible about it.

Pause. There's a little man on Rick and Beth's porch right outside. I don't know what to do about this exactly. I think I'll just ignore him unless he tries to talk to me or does something scary.

Anyways, change of venue. Now I'm back in Brandon. Sitting in my room which now has nothing in it. It seems lonely without all my books and record player and clothes. It seems very white. And it's raining outside. And Horse Feathers is playing. And I spilt a lot of super glue on my hands so my skin feels scaly and I can't stop picking at it. I don't reallymeven remember where I was going with that post, so I will divulge elsewhere:

I'm tired of goodbyes. I've had weeks of goodbyes now, and I just don't know what to do with them anymore. I've run out of words to say. Today is my last day in Mississippi. And tomorrow I make the long trek to Nashville. I've worried and cried and stressed about it so now, I really can't do those things anymore. Words of Sondre Lerche delivered loosely via the amazing Kevin Ford bring me to what I feel now. And I will share it with you:

"I'm not gonna lie
Saying everyone's gonna be alright
And fine until we die
But what else can you do
But hope and pray and save
And we'll get by
Be prepared to be surprised"

Tomorrow, I'm spending my last few moments in Jackson with my brother Joseph Craven, who isn't exactly my brother but close enough. I love him a lot! I thank God for him every day.

Aaaand now (finally!), I'm excited about this Nashville thang. I've always liked adventures, and this will be my biggest yet! I'm prepared to be surprised.

Whatever happens, I'm so thankful for the people God's put in my Mississippi life and I look forward to serving Him in Tennessee, armed with faith and winged by prayer.

Jesus, I my cross have taken,
All to leave and follow Thee;
Destitute, despised, forsaken,


Thou from hence my All shalt be.
Perish every fond ambition,
All I've sought or hoped or known;
Yet how rich is my condition!
God and heaven are still my own.


Let the world despise and leave me,
They have left my Savior, too.


Human hearts and looks deceive me;
Thou art not, like them, untrue.
And while Thou shalt smile upon me,
God of wisdom, love, and might,
Foes may hate and friends may shun me;
Show Thy face, and all is bright.


Go, then, earthly fame and treasure!
Come, disaster, scorn, and pain!
In Thy service, pain is pleasure;


With Thy favor, loss is gain.
I have called Thee Abba, Father!
I have stayed my heart on Thee.
Storms may howl, and clouds may gather,
All must work for good to me.


Man may trouble and distress me,
'Twill but drive me to Thy breast;


Life with trials hard may press me,
Heaven will bring me sweeter rest.
Oh, 'tis not in grief to harm me
While Thy love is left to me;
Oh, 'twere not in joy to charm me
Were that joy unmixed with Thee.


Take, my soul, thy full salvation;
Rise o'er sin and fear and care;


Joy to find in every station,
Something still to do or bear.
Think what Spirit dwells within thee,
What a Father's smile is thine,
What a Savior died to win thee;
Child of heaven, shouldst thou repine?


Haste, then, on from grace to glory,
Armed by faith and winged by prayer;


Heaven's eternal day's before thee,
God's own hand shall guide thee there.
Soon shall close the earthly mission,
Swift shall pass thy pilgrim days,
Hope soon change to glad fruition,
Faith to sight, and prayer to praise.




(it feels like this post is all over the place. i apologize. i'll admit i've been a little all over the place as well)

7.19.2011

uprooted

I never know what to say when I first start writing, even though I always feel words swimming in this noggin of mine. I haven't written since the end of staff training week at Twin Lakes. So much has changed in just a couple months. 

I was so ready for Belmont. I was on the edge of my seat. I was poised ready to jump. And now.... I'm struggling with forward motion (WOAH. Relient K quote just came out of nowhere! Love it!) I just don't understand. The minute I begin forming roots of strong community among true believers, I am uprooted. And I don't understand it one bit. Such strong friendships have been made in the past year or so. Ones that I've never had before. And now that I have them, I'm leaving. What in the world could He be doing?

(I have such a hard time writing anything because my honesty scares me. It's like I never completely realize how sinful I am until I write down my thoughts. I read what I've written and just stare at the words in unbelief. What interesting mediums He uses to convict me). 

That was a tangent. Back on track now. 

There is pain, though, in transitions, in switching worlds and lives. There is much more seeking to do. He is mighty, mighty, mighty… Oh so much bigger than my feeble thoughts and plans. He is showing me how to wait and trust and live in His will instead of my own. There is so very much of a plan that I'm refusing to see. I always comes back to this same idea. I just haven't gotten it yet. Here we are again.
And yet, 
"God is my shepherd. I won't be wanting, I won't be wanting...."                                 (thanks for that Mr. Foreman)
And now, I will make joy my abiding confidante as I bask in the light of God's faithfulness. As I stare into the night sky, I'm reminded that the same God that holds those stars in place is the same one that loves me and will carry out the good work He began in me, regardless of my selfish desires to stay in comfort and familiarity.

Did any of that make sense at all?

it's kind of a hobby of mine to go on nationalgeographic.com and look at pretty pictures like this one.