over life's tempestuous seas.

Wow
So.... yep. Sorry 'bout it. I haven't written in quite some time. And I cannot even begin to catch you up on everything that's happened. I'm not sure where to start.


Here's what I think. My Father, my sweet Father, tenderly cares for me. But I'll tell you something else, He definitely does what He wants. I'm thankful for it..in my best of times. I'll admit, most of the time nowadays I'm confused and struggling with everything that's happening/happened.


These past few months have been the hardest I've ever had. I don't say that for you to pity me. I just thought I'd catch you up a smidge. 
I never thought I'd be in the spot I'm in now. I never thought I would have lost sight of my identity so quickly or so completely. I've been so disappointed in myself because of that. 


I take comfort knowing that I'm being sanctified. Every single day. Even though I feel three steps behind where I was, I know I'm being pulled closer and closer to the Father, who I can claim as my own. A portion so divine.


I don't really know how to even put this into words. I'm sorry for the vagueness and inconsistency in this post. Everything is still so muddled. Come talk to me and I'd love to talk to you about the Lord's happenings in my life recently. And hopefully, you can point out even more blessings through all this business. I need someone to do that.

My God, my Father, blissful name

Oh may I call Thee mine?

May I with sweet assurance claim

A portion so divine?

This only can my fears control

And bid my sorrows fly;

What harm can ever reach my soul

Beneath my Father’s eye?

Whate’er Thy providence denies

I calmly would resign

For Thou art just, and good, and wise

O bend my will to Thine

Whate’er Thy sacred will ordains

O give me strength to bear;

And let me know my Father reigns

And trust His tender care

If pain and sickness rend this frame

And life almost depart

Is not Thy mercy still the same

To cheer my drooping hear

tIf cares and sorrows me surround

Their power why should I fear?

My inward peace they cannot wound

If Thou, my God, art near.

On a less heavy note, here's where I am:
- Not a Nursing major anymore, yet struggling to decide exactly how I want to serve for the rest of my life. Quite the decision, I have. 
- Trying to decide whether I should live on or off campus with Shannon next year. I'm torn.
- Going to L'Abri in Greatham, England for two weeks at the end of the summer. I'm traveling all by myself. I don't think I've ever been so excited. Never heard of L'Abri? Check it out here!
- Camp is so soon! I'm Activities Director again. So blessed to be able to serve my brothers and sisters and help shepherd sweet little ones. I cannot wait to be back in my territory among so many dear friends.
- I'm going to RUF Summer Conference on Monday and I'm nervous but ready.
- But first, I'm going to visit my sister and spend good time with her this weekend.
- I'm going to miss my most incredible friends from Belmont that are graduating and moving on. Kristy, Logan, Zachary, Mary Lauren, Stewart, Brent, Margaret... to name a few. They've been invaluable and I'm so honored that they count me as friends. I'm so blessed to know them.
- I'm thankful.


Those are the things that are wandering around in my head. I'm now a sophomore at Belmont and that feels so weird. Almost discomforting. I look back on my freshmen year and I hate to say it, but I feel unsatisfied. It's something I'm struggling with terribly. We can talk about it sometime. Let's just say, I would have done things differently, but my sovereign, good Shepherd thought otherwise. I have a hard time trusting, I'm going to be honest. You can pray for that. 

Jesus, Lord of life and glory,
Bend from Heav’n Thy gracious ear;
While our waiting souls adore Thee,
Friend of helpless sinners, hear

From the depth of nature’s blindness,
From the hardening power of sin,
From all malice and unkindness,
From the pride that lurks within: 

By Thy mercy, O deliver us, good Lord, good Lord. 

When temptation sorely presses, 

in the day of Satan's power, 

In our times of deep distresses, 

in each dark and trying hour,

When the world around is smiling, 

in the time of wealth and ease, 

Earthly joys our hearts beguiling, 

in the day of health and peace.

By Thy mercy, O deliver us, good Lord, good Lord.

 In the weary hours of sickness, 

in the times of grief and pain, 

When we feel our mortal weakness,

 when all human help is vain,

In the solemn hour of dying,
In the awful judgment day,
May our souls, on Thee relying,
Find Thee still our Rock and Stay: 

By Thy mercy, O deliver us, good Lord, good Lord.

amen and amen.