Sometimes I just want to escape to the moon.

Why the moon? Because as I watched it tonight, it slowly got higher and higher into the darkening sky. And sometimes I just want to be up there with it.


Today was confusing.
And crazy.
And unfortunate.
And embarrassing.


What have I gotten myself into this time? On days like these I just want to curse the skies and make a huge scene and blame it on someone else. 


I just want to go back in time 2 years. 2 years sounds like a good time. I want to go back to that summer where I met this awesome friend who was actually more of a mentor and role model than friend. It made me simpler. 
And I like simpler.


Or I could go back in time to this summer and relax and get into a little trouble with my friends. That sounds nice, too. 


I'm going to Belmont next fall. But I'm nervous... I don't want to leave. For probably the first time ever, I thoroughly enjoy and appreciate my family. Before now, my pride and arrogance and pretentiousness got in the way. But now that I realize I'm leaving, I'm seeing them as real people, not as people who ruin things. And I just love them to death. Now, I'm not saying they don't have their faults. They're liars and cheaters and overly affectionate and not affectionate enough and push too hard and give up too much BUT.
They've taught me to accept. To forgive. To struggle. To get through. To love.


And now that I've finally realized all this, I only have a short amount of time before I have to leave!? And leave for good! Never again will I be under their roof like this. Where I can wake them up in the middle of the night and cry. Where I can find them just to talk. Where I can find them for a hug. For anything. 
I feel like I've wasted so much time.


I feel like running backwards. Or right on up to the moon to escape for a little while and get my head on straight.

Whether things are happy or life is hard, there is SUCH divine beauty all around. And I suppose, in a matter of speaking, the trick is to see it. But that's another story.