341 days and counting.

Just a second ago I was sitting and then all of a sudden, words started forming on my tongue and pressing against my skin and revolving round and round in my head. I knew it was time to write.


I've been away for just too long now... And it's starting to eat away at me. From my favorite place in the world, I mean. But I guess you don't know what I'm talking about.


Peru, actually. Or, I'd say, anywhere in South America. It's my most favorite continent of all, hands down. Although I've only been once, the second I stepped out of the airport into that thick sweet air, I knew I was claimed by a place I hadn't even explored yet.


I feel like I need to go back there. Honestly. Even though some of you know my impulsive tendencies to travel transcontinentally on short notice, I know what you're thinking, "Mary Palmer, you just can't get up and leave right now." You're right. And this time I'm going to listen to you. But know that it's not without a heavy heart that I write my consent. All of you must think I'm pretty strange to feel this deeply about a place. I've always been like this though... places stick to me. Or rather, I stick to them. But nothings stuck as well as Peru before.


Like I said, I need to go back. I'm getting a little tired here.. just stuck where I am. I need to do a little exploring. I need to be somewhere unfamiliar, where I can't understand anyone (I speak French. I'm just useless.) and where their customs, colors, clothes, values.. are different. I want to be selfless for a while, like them Peruvians. Peru is a country that has NOT ONCE won a battle. Haha, isn't that different to hear? Coming from a country where power is everything. Being on top is EVERYTHING. People will kill for it. People have died from it. But Peru... haha oh goodness, they've tried, but it hasn't exactly worked out in their favor. And that has played into their lives and hearts. Instead of Americans, thinking they're entitled to anything and everything they want, Peruvians are selfless. They are humble. They are sincere. They are the most honest and hardworking people I've ever met. And I've met a lot of people.


I'd rather be seeing.... mustard colored walls.

Dirt roads.

Coarse black hair.

Purple drinks made from corn. (I realize this is a weird one, but it's just so tasty!)

Hand-made houses with a backdrop of the Andes.

Alpacas.

Sun kissed dark skin.

I want to hear some real music right in front of me, dadgumit!

Is that too much to ask for? Probably so. But my heart's a-wandering... 

Porque Jehova no mira lo que mira el hombre,
pues el hombre mira lo que esta delante
de sus ojos, pero Jehova mira el corazon.
1 Samuel 16:7

My hearts been aching for Peru. Countdown. 341 days till I'm home.

the grey in this city.

Has anyone realized how grey it is lately? Grey, grey, grey. All the time.


I've noticed more and more lately God's faithfulness. If you haven't thought about it in awhile.... try it. It's pretty cool. I pray daily for God to lend His strength for me to not give in to these habitual sins. And guess what. He does. I'm so very excited to continue going (and growing) along this path with Him.


I have these really cool little friends of mine. It is my hearts job and passion to listen to and encourage them. Sometimes they have this mindset (which I fear is more common than I think) that our relationship with God is supposed to be 100% fantastic and amazing and incredible and easy every step of the way. And I thought about it. And it is, really it is. But at the same time, we're human. God's never changed His attitude towards us. We change. And I change rather frequently. But the God we experience on the 'mountaintops' is still there. Such temporal vision... 


From time to time when my vision is muddled enough with distractions for me to realize it's muddled.. I can catch glimpses of things to come. Some glorious things. And I bet it won't be grey.


‘He will swallow up death forever; and the Lord God will wipe away tears from all faces, and the reproach of his people he will take away from all the earth, for the Lord has spoken.’

(My father got him and me front row tickets to see Punch Brothers on February 20th as my birthday present. I have a great dad.)

i have to do this

I have to do this because... I just do.


Additional blog of mine for you guys:
http://somewordswithfriends.blogspot.com/

This is from me and my best friend David. We're separated by many miles, and this is how we keep up with each other. We'll share our wisdom, funny stories, and love with all of you. Get ready to live our friendship through letters.


David told me that he only reads my blog if there are pictures on it. So, everyone likes a cute puppy.

i cannot give an answer.

listen.

i will not boast in anything.

and it came like a call from the Lord.

Wowzers. It's been quite some time since I've written. I hope you accept my apology. I can tell you why though:


Everything has sped up. It feels like my life was going slowly, at a stroll (which was annoying, somewhat). And now, it feels like I've just hit a dead sprint. And I'm running, running, running. 


Currently, I'm sitting at Sneaky Beans. I'm supposed to be studying for my economics test tomorrow, but as you can see... well... that just didn't work out so well.


I started back to school with all these plans to make it go by quickly: 1. positive attitude 2. talk to people 3. get a job. So far, all 3 of those have failed. Haha, shows how well my planning is. And once I stopped and looked around, trying to regroup and see where my plans took me, I realized I got nowhere. I accomplished nothing I wanted to. However, God has pulled me somewhere else entirely. His plans are always so much better than mine.


I left my slow stroll for a sprint when (pause. I just realized there's a camera in this room. This shouldn't surprise me but it actually freaks me out a little bit. continuing on) I started meeting all my new fellow classmates from Belmont. And they're a group of winners, for sure. I've talked to a handful of them and they're full of lovely and talented folks. I realized recently how much of an experience college is going to be with all these people. One new noteworthy pal is Anneke. Nice name, right? I think so, too. Her and I are rather similar, and it's refreshing coming from a high school where no one is like me. I've known her for less than a week, but I can just tell - we're two peas in a pod.
Another one for note is Kadileigh. Another great name, don't'cha think? She reads the same books as me! She's seen our favorite author (Donald Miller: the man, the myth, the legend) speak more than once! That just blows my mind. She's super. Her and I are just destined to be friends.


So, God has opened a door this new year. I've got a little less than a semester left. I can do this.... right? I sure hope so. It doesn't seem like it a lot of the time. 
And here we are again…

Uncertainty piled on uncertainty; only to find that there is certainty and solidity underneath. God leads, this I know; and prayers have been heard and answered and I am oh so thankful for the confirmations. 

I've seen a lot of blog posts lately about new years resolutions. Here's my two cents worth. I do have a few new years resolutions... but the basis of all of them is to love. 

Food for thought:

Love is, as far as I can tell, the most mature response to any situation - the pinnacle of what it means to be truly human. Love is a wrench in the wheels of cause and effect, of reactionary living, of casual imitation. Yes, speed and events are all around us in the information age, but motion, true motion, is rare. Love is the movement.
- Jon Foreman

If you like good music, listen here. I honestly have listened to this song on repeat for 2 hours straight now. 

more often than not

more often than not, I find myself wishing I was part of a book club.

Yesterday, I went to my favorite bookstore in the whole world. (Wow, that was a bit of an overstatement, I think. Suffice it to say, it's changed my life). I went there to escape my house for a little while because I've been sick. Not dangerously sick or anything, I sensed your concern, just a cold. It is a little bit of a downer on Christmas holidays, but really, I don't have anything to do anyways And this cold gives me an excuse to sit at home and do basically nothing. Dangit, tangent. Anyways, I went to Lemuria and was startled and even a bit upset at first to see that there were 5 million people there. However, with my chai in one hand and a bucket of fierce determination, I stuck it out in hopes of finding a gem or two. And boy, did I. I found exactly what I needed for a good ole fashioned romp. For those of you struggling to find a true translation for the word 'romp', it's basically a rollicking good ride. Good luck translating my translation. I think it comes from the idea of reading non-challenging books whilst on holiday (even if most books I read feel like a challenge anyhow..) Perhaps next time I decide to write something on this here 'blog' (that word makes me nervous) those books I found can be something we can chat about. Once again, I wish I was part of a book club. Then people will be forced to listen to what I say about books.

more often than not, I wished I lived outside.

I know that sounds really unusual. And don't get me wrong, I do enjoy the ingenuity of man to create houses and electricity and running water (all given by God, by the way, just saying). But two days ago, my lovely neighbors and I went to their great tree in their front yard and played. You see, some of the leaves had fallen and we had a blast running around in the leaves, and lying in the leaves, and such. They even buried me in leaves. It was GREAT. I sat underneath that blanket of leaves and thought about how I really wouldn't mind sleeping outside with these leaves all the time. It made me appreciate God, again. He puts me in awe a lot. I'm glad He does. God is good. Pictures from our adventure:

she's a beaut. inside and out.

best frands.

what a wonderful little soul.

best neighbors ever.

more often than not, I find I have ZERO Christmas spirit.. and I don't know why.

Also yesterday (yes, yesterday was an eventful day for me), I got in a truck that we named 'the magical sleigh' and took off for Canton, the "city of lights". The rules for this sleigh ride were strict: 1. No talking about anything other than Christmas things 2. No listening to anything other than Christmas music 3. You must dip your candy canes into the steaming hot chocolate for the full effect 4. You must comment on every single blinking light out there. I knew before I went on this sleigh ride that I'm not one for Christmas spirit, but this year I decided to really REALLY try to get into the 'spirit' (that word also makes me nervous). This year I have honestly put a huge effort into working on my Christmas spirit. Hence, the sleigh ride, the continuous Sufjan Christmas album, etc, because my lack thereof concerns me. And here is my diagnosis: I am a horrible person. Because I have no Christmas spirit. Not one bit. I've tried everything. I've given every bit of the Christmas season a fair shot and nothing makes me giddy or makes me want to give everyone presents or stare at lights for hours. Is this wrong of me? Now, I'm talking simply about the commericial-ly part of Christmas. Not the Jesus part. I love that part. I WILL sing old hymns about Jesus being born in Bethlehem in exactly the wrong way, as seen by the Jews. They were hoping for this marvelous King that would save them from oppression to come in a way a little more... extravagant. But alas, Jesus does love to turn your thinking upside down. He came as a baby, in a dirty stable. With gross animals all around him. God came down from heaven and became man. Jesus was both GOD and man. At one time. This gets me every time. This changes everything. But that's another tangent. So, I take this time to think about that more, and that does make me excited, but those dadgum lights and ornaments and reindeer and fat Santa's do not. Sorry. So do I have Christmas spirit? Or not? What do YOU think?

I'm off to do some more wandering around. If you think about it, leave me a comment on this here thing. I wonder while I'm writing if anyone reads. Godspeed to you all, and I hope you have a wonderful Christmas.

.m.p.d.

o ancient doors.

I have this job. 
It's probably the greatest job anyone could ever ask for. 
I have the best boss. The coolest coworkers. We work long hours together. This job will definitely be one of the main things I miss when I go to Belmont in the fall. 
We do stuff like: 
shoot wasps nests with giant slingshots and balloons full of wasp poison. 
lead an entire dining hall full of strangers in the Jai Ho dance.
drive giant tractors.
rescue people who have fallen out of their canoe into the lake.
drive around on golf carts dressed as a bumblebees, princesses, and generally, just idiots.
we answer the phone with "Twin Lakes, this is a Storm Trooper, how may I help you?"
tell folks about Jesus.
and also show them Jesus by serving them however we can.


I'm a Host at Twin Lakes Conference Center in (contrary to popular belief) HARRISVILLE.


One time, months ago, I was hosting with these two great guys named Aubrey and Ethan. I got off earlier than them and left them a note that greeted them as they walked in. It was Psalm 24. I left them that specific Psalm because it says "the LORD of hosts". And we're hosts! It just fit. 
They thought it was very clever and funny. We even approached our boss-man about putting it on our uniforms. It didn't work, haha.


I know that story was very anti-climatic. BUT. The moral of the story isn't the horrible climax. It's the Psalm. You should read it sometime. And just in case you'd like to read it now, I've left it for ya. Just thinking ahead, you know.


[a psalm of David]

The earth is the LORD's and the fullness thereof,
the world and those who dwell therein,
  for he has founded it upon the seas
and established it upon the rivers.

Who shall ascend the hill of the LORD?
And who shall stand in his holy place?
  He who has clean hands and a pure heart,
who does not lift up his soul to what is false
and does not swear deceitfully.
  He will receive blessing from the LORD
and righteousness from the God of his salvation.
  Such is the generation of those who seek him,
who seek the face of the God of Jacob.

Lift up your heads, O gates!
And be lifted up, O ancient doors,
that the King of glory may come in.
  Who is this King of glory?
The LORD, strong and mighty,
the LORD, mighty in battle!
  Lift up your heads, O gates!
And lift them up, O ancient doors,
that the King of glory may come in.
  Who is this King of glory?
The LORD of hosts,
he is the King of glory!
 (Psalm 24)


listen here. This is Nathan Clark George singing Psalm 24. I know this is a bad recording, but I really wanted you to see this guy. That's what's cool about this guy; he makes songs out of straight scripture, and it's beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. Once, I got to help Nathan pack up all his sound gear and everything, just him and me, and then he said "thank you!" What a great guy! It's kind of a shining point in my life. (side note little fact about me: I get incredibly star-struck). 


So listen to the Psalm. Or just read it. Whichever. But most importantly:
Let it soak into those bones. 
Let it carry you away.


Lastly, guys! He is the King of glory! The LORD, strong and mighty!


peace

:)